One Year Later

It has been a while that I’ve been writing on my blog here… Guess I was occupied with other matters that at the time seemed to be more interesting, important or whatever.

Today it is Saturday afternoon, my lover is in the past, the door closed and won’t open again… Finally! It took some time for me to say goodbye to this one.

It seems to be a kind of habit for me… continuing when you already know it is not good for either both. Of course not to forget to mention that when it’s not good for myself I can keep on going on without any “limits”! Dissatisfaction is there but who cares? I believe I don’t love myself enough to not let things like this happen all the time.

Question is of course… is it because of my childhood? My parents gave me an excellent example on how not to love each other but at the same time didn’t gave me any sense of limits. Yes you can shout to someone when you are upset but… can one scream? can one say the ugliest words that exist to the one that you are supposed to love? when is it over the limit? I don’t know… I can guess but I am used to so much that I hardly can imagine what this does to the other?

All questions that come to my mind today… and I struggle to find the right balance.

Think it’s time to find a scale!

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